7 Signs You're In An Unhealthy Relationship
There’s a difference between loving somebody and that person being good for you. Unhealthy relationships are all too often swept under the rug because they’re a mess that nobody wants to admit to. It doesn’t mean that relationship started out as unhealthy; in fact, it could have been great the first few weeks into it (maybe even the first few months.) But then things started to change. The relationship somehow became a bucket of excuses. “It’s ok because they love me,” is something you throw out when your family and friends confront you about your relationship. Instead of making excuses, address what’s really going on. These key signs that you might be in an unhealthy relationship may be the first step in admitting that there’s something wrong. Everything is a fight.
No matter what, it seems like you or your significant other can’t do anything right. One of you is constantly bickering with the other over little things. Maybe they didn’t hold the door for you or you didn’t buy the right brand of mac and cheese for them; whatever it is, it’s miniscule. Fighting is going to be part of relationships. Arguments or issues that arise can either strengthen or break down your relationship. But when issues arise constantly, there’s no longer a healthy balance and the relationship itself should be evaluated.
Instead of building each other up, you tear each other down.
One of the best things about being in a relationship is having someone to constantly encourage you with your passions and goals. Your partner should be the person who builds you up even if everyone else is focused on tearing you down. If your relationship has reached a point where either of you or both no longer builds the other up, it may have taken an unhealthy turn. If there is no longer a desire to push each other forward then it may be that you are holding each other back.
There are more things wrong with your significant other than right (in your eyes.)
In this case, your partner can’t seem to do anything without annoying you. The little things you thought were adorable in the beginning have become things that you can’t stand. Instead of looking at your partner with endearment, you pick apart their flaws. The relationship becomes unhealthy when you focus more on what you can’t stand about your partner than what you adore. There will always be things that are somewhat annoying and sometimes there are things that you might not like about your partner at first. When those things grow into a greater disdain instead of grow into things you love about your significant other, you might need to take a step back.
The only time you’re happy together is when you get physical.
There’s a difference between love and lust. You’ve probably heard that a number of times before. It’s easy to mistake one for the other. You can’t wait to see your significant other but when you get to their apartment all you do is fool around. Afterwards there isn’t much conversation and going out on dates seems more like a chore. The physical aspect is important in relationships but it should not be the only focus. Once it takes the place of conversation and an actual friendship, the relationship changes and not for the better.
Friends and family see that something is wrong.
There will always be people that have your back. They see you through thick and thin and become concerned when they see things aren’t right. If your parents or friends confront you about what is happening in your relationship then do yourself a favor and listen to what they have to say. It might be hard but you’ll thank them in the long run.
You don’t see a future together.
There are two types of relationships in college and post grad – ones that are just for “fun” and ones that there you want there to be a future to. If your relationship isn’t just for fun and you just can’t picture a future together, it might not be a healthy relationship to stay in. Yes, take the relationship day by day. And yes, it's true that no one knows what tomorrow holds, but you should want that tomorrow to include your significant other.
Exes are a prominent topic of conversation.
Knowing about your partner’s past is important. It’s a good thing to know what they’ve been through and where their heart is. But once that conversation has passed, if you’re still comparing them to your ex or vice versa, the relationship is in an unhealthy place. Exes are in the past for a reason and by continually discussing them in your new relationship you’re letting that previous relationship continue. Nobody likes to be compared and it can be crushing to constantly hear the comparison to someone from your partner’s past (or vice versa.)