How To Turn A Friendship Breakdown Into A Breakthrough

photo via  Anthropologie

photo via Anthropologie

Sometimes, the biggest heartbreaks are not always with a significant other but with another very close companion: our closest friends. As we each go through new seasons of life, it can be easy and unsettling to recognize the change that is happening. Friends move away, become more deeply invested in their romantic relationships, or score their dream job. I have found in my own life that one of the most important questions for myself have been, “Is it time for me to let go of this friendship? How will I know when the time is right?”

Letting go of a friendship is never easy. In fact, it’s really dang hard. No matter how the situation played out, this is someone who was there for you in the best and worst times of that chapter of your life. They made you laugh. They were shared countless memories with you. They really knew you. But understand, it’s just a part of life.

Everyone who crosses our path has been placed there for a reason; even their exits have a reason.

Allow yourself to grieve the loss, but don’t wallow in it forever. Instead, use it as an opportunity for personal development and spiritual maturity. Here are a few ways you can choose to grow from a friendship breakup:

Deal with it accordingly.

It's no secret that many of us don’t know how to deal with situations properly or healthily or perhaps haven't developed the tools in which to do so. Leaving a friendship, let alone an especially close one, is going to be difficult. Properly dealing with the situation and assessing your feelings will save you more work in the future.

Take a step back and see what went wrong in the friendship, maybe ways you could have been a better friend, too, or how this situation could have been prevented. For some, this could include unfollowing or muting them on social media if you believe this will help you focus on your own wellbeing through this, even if it's just for the short-term. Regardless, the key here is to look inward and be honest with yourself. If you want the breakdown to lead to a breakthrough, you have to be willing to go through the tough stuff to get there.

Strengthen other relationships.

Now that you have exited a relationship in your life and you’ve identified what went wrong, you can begin to pour yourself into the relationships you do have with people you admire, love, and trust. Breakups take a lot of time out of our lives, emotionally and physically. Accept the love you’re receiving from others during this time. Invest more time in hanging out with your family, close friends, and those you wish to get to know better. Take what you've learned and put it into practice with the other people in your life. 

Know you are worthy.

No one ever wants to be treated poorly or feel disrespected by a friend. It truly does hurt. As my therapist likes to remind me, “You are worthy and someone is worthy of you.” Friends will always come and go, but the ones that are meant to stay in our lives will stay. They will see that you are worthy of time, energy, love, respect, and trust.

And if you feel you played a role in the breakup, know that that is okay, too. Just as you are worthy of love and respect, you are also worthy of forgiving yourself. Remember: the only way we spiritually mature is by first being spiritually immature. It's all part of your journey.

What have you learned from friendship breakups? Share with us in the comments! 


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