How To Comfort Your BFF Post-Breakup
Have you ever been caught up in a situation when your best friend is in shambles trying to keep herself sane while she goes through a tough break up? I have and it was one of the biggest lessons for me as a friend, daughter, and life coach. Let me give you a little background about me. I'm a total "problem solver type of person" and I love to jump in with some kernels of wisdom right when anyone comes to me with their problems. But I learned over time that jumping in with my own personal stories and experiences with problems is doing everything but helping the other person. It is putting the focus on myself. Pretty subconsciously selfish, am I right?!
I remember exactly what happened. My best friend came over after having had a blow out fight with her boyfriend that led to a bad break up. I tried to tell her to find the positive by empowering her with my words. She said to me, "Catherine, you know... I love you, but sometimes all I need you to do is to just listen. You know, just a simple, I'm sorry you're going through this. That sucks and I feel your pain." This was such a lightbulb, eye-opening moment for me. I was so taken aback by this because it was the last thing I expected to hear coming out of her mouth. "Oh." I couldn't even come up with anything else. She said, "it's totally the life coach in you. You're always looking for solutions to problems, which is great, but you need to let me have my grieving period."
This is when I realized that the most important thing to do when you're comforting your BFF is to do nothing at all. Just empathetically listen. This will give them the comfort they need to feel truly supported during the difficult time.